Of all the trends I have seen in my life, the haunted carwash is by far the one with the most untapped potential. The kernel is so sweet and good: the car wash, a banal feature of modern life and boring errand, transformed into a fun, artistic creative expression of haunting, overwhelming eerie weirdness through a few carefully chosen design features. What could be better? For too long, carwashes have been bland, anodyne and without personality. If a carwash could be haunted in October, could it not become a winter wonderland in December? A tunnel of love in February? …


At ninety minutes, Tread is shorter than its subject, which is a two hour and seventeen minute confrontation by armored bulldozer on the town of Granby, Colorado on June 4, 2004. Marvin Heemeyer, a welder, veteran and muffler shop operator who had lived in the town for twelve years, spent a year and a half putting concrete sheets, cameras, and gunports onto a Komatsu D335A bulldozer in secret. …


It’s difficult to empathize with someone who claims to have no regrets, in the same way it’s hard to trust someone who does things just because they can. To regret is surely as human as erring is. And yet, in adult life, there is no room to admit mistakes. “I can’t help you move, I only said I would because you put me on the spot and it was too awkward to say no” or “I regret buying this house and I’d like to return it please” won’t fly. You have to say you don’t feel well right now or…


People don’t really like to talk about how they got their jobs. If you ask strangers, you’ll see what I mean. What comes up often is “I knew someone.” Sometimes a teacher or a former boss: more often a relative, or a close friend. When they say this, people are actually answering the question: “How did you know a job was available?” They do not answer the question: “Why were you hired, instead of other applicants who were not?” Often people can’t tell you, because they don’t know. The job interview has become longer, larger and harder than ever before…


Historically, the avocado was called an ‘alligator pear,’ a ‘butter pear,’ and ‘ahuacatl,’ or ‘testicle.’ If you have glanced at even one single food blog, Instagram, review or magazine in the last three years, the thought ‘testicle toast’ came unbidden into your brain, and I sincerely apologize for that. Of course, maybe you haven’t. There are two types of people in the world: people who love avocados and people who need you to please, please, please, just shut up about avocados. Both of these groups are aware, some dimly, some keenly, that in this year of our Lord of the…


In 1976, Rocky, Carrie and Logan’s Run came out and in Sacramento, ten women were raped when their homes were broken into by the same man. In 1978 the first human baby conceived by in-vitro fertilization was born, and the Sacramento East Area Rapist shot and killed Brian and Katie Maggiore while they were walking their dog. In 1986, Halley’s comet approached the earth from the opposite side of the sun, Billy Ocean had a hit with ‘When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going,” and Janelle Cruz was bludgeoned to death in her home by the same man…


I would love to open this article with a story about the great things I found at a thrift store in revitalized downtown Detroit. I would. Really. Unfortunately when I was there it wasn’t quite open although it was supposed to be, but I’d already paid one dollar for one hour of zone 206 parking and Motor City had thanked me for it, so I took a walk. Part of Cass Avenue corridor has more coffee roasters than anyone can possibly support, or even count. A little group of intent people in natural fabrics were clearly setting up some kind…


When I was a teenager, a teacher at my school was disciplined over an inappropriate (sexual, romantic) relationship with a student. It was a school huge enough to allow seven degrees of separation between me, an uninterested party, and the people close to the actual student involved. I remember, with vivid detail, the speech my homeroom advisor* gave about the matter. “When you interact with a teacher you should feel safe,” she said. “You should feel like when you’re little and you’re in the back of your parents’ car driving home. Like totally safe.”

When I was little and falling…


Ad for cellphone service provider featuring a model breastfeeding and the slogan ‘Guilty of Being a Mother in Public’

In Santiago, Chile, dinner hours are eight to eleven. Most businesses close earlier than eight. I was reeling from the Kafkaesque incoherence of the artisanal ice cream shop I had specifically picked out before dinner turning out to be shut at half past six when I heard a rumor that chilled me to the bone.

“Everything will be closed on Sunday because of the election.”


The following post contains spoilers for Twin Peaks, season 3 through episode 13. It does not contain screenshots because I just wasn’t feeling it.

I stopped writing episodic recaps because to be honest, I don’t feel like it’s episodic. Allow me to explain.

Actually, I can’t. The thing is, I feel like the episode structure is if anything, a hindrance to getting Twin Peaks across. All this messing about with the roadhouse stage is a symptom of this. “This is what you expect from the end of an episode,” it begins, “but here are 2 more characters you’ve never met…

Jules Reich

are you going to finish that sandwich? Excuse me

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